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Developing Friendships!

2/15/2015

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"Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart"

                        - Eleanor Roosevelt
Many times, we will often make the mistake of classifying anyone that we interact with on a regular and daily basis as a friend. The question that begs to be asked is, what makes this person, be worthy of being called a friend? 

  • Did that person do something extraordinary for you? 
  • Is that person reliable and someone you can count on? 
  • Is that person trustworthy and loyal to you? 
  • Does that person care for you and keeps your interests at heart?

These are the traits that determine a true friend. Anything short of these, the person is nothing more than an acquaintance. Developing friendships take time and just like any relationship, requires trust and honesty. It is possible for acquaintances to evolve into close friends with time but that will depend on the interest factor. Is that person genuinely interested in what's going on with you? 

The key to developing friends is to be active your community. Get to know people and learn about them. See if they have the same interest in you. Also make it a point to engage in conversation (it could be about real life issues, sports, or even jokes). If you are new in town, make it a point to introduce yourself to community members. Remember though that first-impressions make a big difference. 
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One key thing to remember is that it takes two to tango. The key traits or characteristics that you look for in a good friend, you need to offer as well. A friendship is somewhat of a give and take relationship. You need to show care, demonstrate trust and honesty from your end, and display some interest. Otherwise, it will be a one way street which may ultimately doom a friendship.

It's imperative to make it a point that not everyone will like you. Never go out of your way to change who you are as a person to win someone else over. You will lessen yourself in their eyes and they could take advantage of that. You need to make it clear that people need to accept you for who you are. Those that do, are true friends. Those that don't (they can include people you have known as well), they do not deserve to called friends and you should part ways with them. 


A friendship that features lots of drama and negativity, needs to be ended as toxic people will only impact you negatively. A sign of a healthy friendship features people who make a positive impact on you and help further your development as a person. Those are the people you want to stay connected with.


During the course of our lifetimes, people will walk in and out of our lives. But the true friends, will make a difference in who we are. Those are the ones worth keeping!
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5 Great Homework and Study Habits

2/14/2015

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Let's face it, as kids, we all at some point dreaded the idea of going to do more school work. As if 8 hours a day of knowledge being embedded in us was not enough, we had to continue it at home in the form of homework. While it may not be pleasant, the purpose of homework is to help reinforce what was taught at school that day. While how much homework to give is a totally separate topic, we can not deny that it helps stimulate the mind and add more information to our ever growing brain. According to the Center for Public Education:

"During the past decade, according to Gill and Schlossman (1996), 'leading educational spokespersons have celebrated homework as essential to raise educational standards, foster high academic achievement, upgrade the quality of the labor force, and link family and school in a common teaching mission' (27)."

But in order to ensure that we do our homework and studying properly, we need to practice good homework and study habits. Here are 5 great homework and study habits to consider. This applies to everyone of all ages and grade levels, even college students too.

1) Make sure there is clarification on the assignment being handed out to you
Ever hear of the saying "there is no such thing as a stupid question", well it applies in this scenario. When your teacher or professor hands the assignment for the day, be sure to seek clarification on whatever sticking points that may arise. From personal experience, there were days where in the rush of getting home and watching TV, I just wrote the assignment down without understanding the assignment. Big NO-NO!! Before school is out for the day, make sure to ask the necessary questions, as an incomplete homework will result in a bad grade.

2) Never Procrastinate!!
One thing most students tend to do is put things off. Unless you are the type of person who will finish everything up before bed time without any difficulties or are a prodigy, that is the last thing you want to do. There are some assignments (term papers, essays, and one page papers) that can take longer than anticipated or are challenging in nature and require time and patience to complete. That is when procrastination can bite you in the back. Make it a priority to complete all of your assignments the moment you get home. You can then allocate time properly to more challenging assignments or even free yourself up for the evening to indulge in your interests. After all, you certainly do not want this scenario to happen!
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3) Figure out the best way to study
Everyone has different ways of studying. Some require peace and quiet, other's like to put on music. You have to figure what best fits your personality and learning style when it comes to completing assignments and studying for exams. 

4) Take awesome notes
The key to being able to do your homework and study for exams is note taking. This is where you need to stay attentive in class. Not everything is going to be relevant when it comes time to completing the assignment or reviewing for an exam. The key to take the notes that matter. Teachers will often provide clues such as keywords or phrases that may come in handy. 

5) BRING YOUR COMPLETED ASSIGNMENT TO SCHOOL WITH YOU!!!!
Almost everyone messes up on this part. You work hard and put in effort to complete your assignments to the best of your ability the night before, only to forget to bring with you to class the next day. It's a pretty infuriating experience that does negatively impact your grade. Due dates are put into place in schools to get the students used to adhering to deadlines, especially as they embark on their professional careers which greatly emphasize the meeting of deadlines. Leave a note for yourself or your completed assignments in a place where you can see them in the morning as you're heading out the door. 

The key to performing well in school is to study well for exams and complete all homework assignments handed to you. The tips provided above are key points to focus on. We hope you use this blog as a reference point when trying to do well in school. Stay tuned as we continue to address topics that are pivotal to children, teens, and even adults.

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How to deal with bullying in the workplace!

2/3/2015

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Bullying occurs anywhere and everywhere and impacts individuals of all ages; children, teens, and even adults. While bullying has been receiving greater coverage, bullying in the workplace has been neglected and overlooked. Workplace bullying is equally as serious as bullying on the playgrounds or online. Numerous professionals encounter bullying at work, putting them in precarious situations. 

Starting in 2003, 24 states have introduced various legislation addressing bullying in the workplace. Unfortunately, none have become law as of this current point of time. However, professionals can still take steps to address bullying in the workplace, as various forms of bullying maybe a violation of the Civil Rights Act.

Don't disclose personal information to anyone
As professionals, we often lead hectic and stressful lives, balancing our jobs with our personal and academic commitments. Regardless of how we may feel about our jobs, it provides a paycheck. For the 8-10 hours that you are at work, make it a priority to not disclose your personal information to any of your co-workers. You never know who might just use your information against you as ammunition. Remember, you are at work to work, not to make friends. This applies more so when dealing with your supervisors. Maintain a clear separation of personal and work life. Do not intertwine the two. 

Don't display any emotions
Just as we advise children and teens not to show any emotional reaction, the same applies to professionals. The moment you react to the bully, you are basically sending that person the message that they have succeeded in their quest to get to you. Ignore the bully and focus on your work. Eventually the bullying may die down when you show no reaction. your work is more important than catering to the whims of a bully.

Take a stand
If the bullying is problematic for you and hindering your work performance, confront the person that is bullying you and make it clear that it is distracting you from your work and that it is unprofessional behavior to display in the workplace. Chances are when you speak up and convey how you feel, the bullying may subside or the person that is bullying you may give you an apology. However, taking a stand does not always guarantee that it will bring positive results. Keep in mind the bullying may still continue.
 
Contact your supervisor
If the bullying persists, it's STRONGLY recommended that you notify your immediate supervisor of the situation. Have your supervisor handle the situation as deemed fit. Never take the matter in your own hands, as it may jeopardize your employment. Take the necessary and appropriate steps to bring the problem to an end all the while maintaining documentation of the steps you have taken and whatever e-mail correspondence that may have taken place. Document when you spoke to your supervisor, what was the action that was taken (if any action was taken), and did it have the intended affect. If your immediate supervisor does not provide the necessary remedy, escalate it to your superiors or to a representative from Human Resources.

Touch base with a legal counsel
As stated previously, some forms of bullying can be considered a violation of an individuals civil rights. That can occur when race, ethnicity, race, sex, or national origin come into play. If that is the case, it is advisable that you seek legal counsel. That should be the option of last resort, if all else fails (taking up the chain of command, touching base with HR). As a professional, you should never let the bullying reach this far. Unfortunately, there are no laws specifically addressing bully in the workplace, but there are laws that are built around civil rights.

Bullying in the workplace is detrimental to the operations of the organization. It can cause a decline in productivity, decrease of morale, and possibly the victim leaving the job all together. If you love working at a particular firm and enjoy what you do, don't let the bully have the last laugh. Take action! In the words of Garie Namie:


"Workplace bullying is like domestic abuse without the physical violence."


Always remember that even professionals can take a stand!

Citation
Tarkan, L. (2013, April 25). How to cope with bullying in the workplace. Retrieved February 4, 2015, from http://www.foxnews.com/health/2013/04/25/how-to-cope-with-bullying-in-workplace/
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Snowy Day Activities!

1/26/2015

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We all like the outdoors. The breath of fresh air, kicking and playing in the grass, tossing the ball around, etc. However, there are days where Mother Nature likes to ruin all of the fun. Not all hope is lost. The fun can always take place indoors as well. Here are 10 activities everyone can do on snowy/rainy days!
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Arts & Crafts
Pull out the crayons, glue, and construction paper and have your children create fantastic works of art. Whether if its to pass the time and alleviate the boredom, or you simply want to put up Winter decorations around the house, showcasing your children's masterpiece; arts & crafts time will stimulate the minds of your children and allow them to think outside the box!
Get Warm and Cozy with Hot Cocoa
We all lead busy and hectic lives. Sometimes a snow day will provide of rate opportunity to just get comfortable and cozy while spending some wholesome family time. Make hot cocoa for everyone and relax by the fireplace. To help you get started, here's the recipe for making hot cocoa courtesy of http://allrecipes.com/recipe/creamy-hot-cocoa/:
  • 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 3/4 cup white sugar
  • 1 pinch salt
  • 1/3 cup boiling water
  •  3 1/2 cups of milk
  • 3/4 teaspoon of vanilla extract
  • 1/2 cup of half-and-half cream
  • Marshmallows!!
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Movie Time!
Have access to Netflix, Hulu Plus, or some other movie streaming channel? If so, then gather the family around and catch up on some great family movies! My personal recommendation, The Lion King! You can't go wrong with that!
Touch Base with Family
Use this opportunity to to connect with distant family members. Be it through Skype, WhatsApp, or FaceTime; technology has helped bring everyone closer together, regardless what part of the world everyone maybe in. Remember, if there is one thing grandparents love, is hearing from their grandkids!

Expand Your Horizons
Have a book or two want to catch up on? With a snow day, you have the opportunity to catch up on some reading. Regardless whether if its Fiction, historical, biographical, scientific, you name it; reading will help pass the time all the while helping you learn new things. For the children, have them pick a book and once they are done, engage in a group discussion, where the kids have the opportunity to present what they read.
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Science Fair
Turn your home into a laboratory! Using materials from around the house, host a science fair within the confines of your very own home. Be it designing a replica of the solar system, building a volcano (actual lava and fire should not be used), or designing a seltzer rocket; have your children build their own projects, having fun while at the same time incorporating an educational element to it.
Collage
Got photos or old magazines lying around? Have your children use them to design their own collage's. Their collage can highlight a particular experience (elementary school or middle school years, a particular age) or build on a theme of their choice.


Board Games!
Perhaps nothing is as fun as enjoying family time over a board game. Monopoly, Risk, Clue, or Life, gather the family around and have fun while engaging in some competition!


Treasure Hunt
Gather the children around and shell out maps, hints and clues, as they search for lost treasure around the house


Baking
Is grandma's recipe collecting dust? Bring it out and have your children help you bake some delicious Winter goodies. 


This is by no means a comprehensive list. This was more or less designed to help provide you with some ideas on how to have a good time when the weather takes a turn for the worst. We encourage you to share with us some other activities that may not be on the list, that you do to pass the time!
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5 Ways to Become Involved in Your Community

1/18/2015

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Yes, bullying can be rough and can cause the victims to shy away from social interaction. However just because one person or a particular group of people are bad, that doesn't mean that everyone is like them. At Play It Forward NY, we encourage children and teens to go out and get involved in the community. It could be anything from joining a local sports league, joining a club, becoming a member of a community organization (i.e. the YMCA), or participating in community service activities. Becoming involved helps increase social interaction as well as provide you with the opportunity have a voice in local community affairs. It cultivates a sense of responsibility not only to yourself, but to your fellow community members. Below are 5 ways children and teens can become active members within the local community.

1) Volunteer
We all have something we care about, whether if its the environment, the homeless, or a desire to help cure some of the social ills plaguing society. Figure out what it is that you are passionate about and get involved. Go to your local community center, library, or town hall and see what volunteer opportunities are available. If none of these options are at your disposal, then check out http://www.volunteermatch.org for volunteer opportunities within your local area.

2) Join Clubs/Teams
If you have a particular hobby (books, poetry) or have a special interest, join an existing club or start your own. Clubs serve as a great way to establish connections with like-minded individuals who share the same passion/interest with you. The same could be applied to sports teams. If you are a basketball, baseball, or football enthusiast, join an existing sports league or start your own team and challenge the neighborhood kids. Teams and clubs help cultivate a sense of camaraderie and team-building skills that are important in everyone's personal development. Plus you get to interact with your own peers and expand your circles.

3) Community Associations
Almost every neighborhood has some type of association or organization in place. Join them and get involved in the affairs of your local community. This works well if you see something you want changed and allows for you to have a voice within the community. Community organizations may help organize a wide array of events such as block parties, pot lucks, or events in the arts. Maybe your community has a neighborhood watch you could be a part of.

4) Fundraisers
Want to make a difference? Want to contribute to a particular cause or raise money for a particular benefit? Fundraisers may be the thing for you. Be it a bake sale, garage sale, a car wash, or hosting a live performance; there are many ways you help contribute to a cause and making a difference in other people's lives. 

5) Donations
More often than not; many organizations seek donations to contribute to the needy. Food Banks welcome donations of food to help feed the hungry who can not afford to obtain their own food. Other organizations like the Salvation Army will donations of any kind to provide to the needy. Be it clothes, food, or even books and toys; take the initiative and donate it to those who need it the most. We tend to take things for granted that others so desperately need.


These are just some of the ways we encourage children and teens (and everyone else for that matter) to get involved. The list is not just limited to the above mentioned suggestions. We encourage everyone to go online and search for other opportunities and ways to get involved and show that you care.  
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6 Tips for Preparing for College

1/12/2015

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Many counselors and teachers will tell you that Junior year is the most important year in High School. Guess what? They are right. Everything you do as a Junior will weigh in heavily when it comes time to apply for college. It is at that point that not only do you figure out what institution you want to attend after High School, but what you want to do career-wise as well.

Below are 6 tips on how to maximize your junior year in High School and adequately prepare for college.

1) Know What Career Path You Desire

First, you need to research some possible career paths. Consult with family, teachers, and your peers. Re-examine yourself and understand your strengths. If you like numbers and excel at it, maybe Mathematics and Statistics would work for you. If you enjoy the past, then maybe History is your thing. Dream about running your own business one day? Maybe Accounting, Finance, or Business Administration suits you. Regardless of what that strength or area of interest maybe, it is important you have a good grasp of it before you begin filling out application forms. Some college’s specialize in specific fields. For example, John Jay College of the City University of New York is mostly renowned for its law and Criminal Justice program. Baruch College is famous for its Accounting program. Then you have other college’s that provide a plethora of course offerings to choose from. Take the time to fully understand what is it that you are looking to gain from your college experience. 

2) Research and Prep Your List of College’s

Figuring out your potential career path comes a long way in helping narrow down possible college choices you may want to consider. Also factor in location and costs as well when researching the college’s of your choice. Some High School graduates choose to stay local to be amongst their friends and families and attend college’s within the area. Others want to venture out on their own and take on the college life head on. Regardless of where it is you want to go, make it a priority to schedule campus visits and feel out the environment and the vibe. If you do not feel comfortable with the College settings, cross that college off of your list, as chances are you won’t fare well there. Visit several campuses and attend as many open houses/information sessions as you can. Give yourself ample opportunities to learn as much as you can about the college’s you hope to apply to and see if they are right for you.

3) Get Involved

Grades are good and all but they are not enough when it comes to applying for college’s. college’s often want to see their applicants as well-rounded individuals who don’t just focus on academics. If you haven’t done so in your Freshman or Sophomore years, starting getting involved in the community. Talk to a teacher or community outreach coordinator and see what community service events are available. If you are passionate about a particular sport, join your school’s sports team. Have a particular hobby or interest, join a club. Engaging in community service or extracurricular activities shows not only initiative, but demonstrates how well-rounded of an individual you are.

4) Study, Study, and More STUDY!

Junior year is when you will need to take SAT’s, ACT’s, and Advanced Placement Exams. There is no such thing as it’s too early to start studying and preparing for those exams. Sign up for as many Advanced Placement classes as you can and prep for those exams. Register for SAT or ACT prep courses, as high scores in those exams will improve your chances of getting admitted into the college of your choice. Junior year is also the year you want to demonstrate your best academically. Make sure your grades are as high as they can possibly be for it’s your performance in Junior year that most college’s will look at.

5) Gain College Credit While in High School

Get a head start on college by registering for some pre-college programs. These programs have the added benefit of exposing you to what a college-level coursework would entail while providing you the opportunity to earn college credit towards your degree. Examples of such programs include CUNY’s College Now program and Wagner College’s Summer Pre-College Program.   

6) Don’t Limit Yourself

In some cases, certain college’s may have rigorous admission requirements. Maybe you fall short on some of them such as GPA’s or SAT/ACT scores. That does not mean you should not apply to that specific college. As mentioned earlier, there are more to college applications than just grades. There are letters of recommendations, community service involvement, leadership roles, and even work experience that may be looked at. Apply to as many college’s as you can. The worst that can happen is you do not get accepted. You never know.

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5 Safety Tips For Using Social Media

1/4/2015

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We live in a world that is becoming ever more entrenched in social media. Every day, new platforms arise and others slowly lose their value. Around 2004, MySpace was the thing. Almost everyone had a MySpace. Now, hardly anyone speaks of it. Regardless of the fads and trends in social media, one thing will never change and that is safety. Bullying no longer is confined to the school environment, but can expand to our very own homes via the computer. Cyber-Bullying is becoming an increasing threat and in order to combat it and other threats, let's take a look at the following tips for playing it safe on social media:



1) Keeping personal stuff....PERSONAL!
Be if Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or other platforms, we often post many things. They could include pics, quotes, opinions, and news. That is perfectly fine. However, one thing that should not be posted are personal information. Once they get posted, they become viewable by the online community, and even if you do delete it, chances are that posted could've already been captured by someone else or shared amongst someone else's circles. Your business is supposed to be your business! Some information you post can eventually be used against you be it by your friends, enemies, or even a hacker.

2) Maintain contact with who you know
When online, make it a priority to only interact with people you KNOW! More often than not, we will get friend requests from people who we may have never heard of or seen before. It's fine to expand your circle and interact with people, just not with strangers. In most cases, some of these friend requests can be hackers, people looking to harm you, or fake individuals. If you don't know that person trying to connect with you, delete them immediately.

3) Avoid drama or arguing on social media
At some point, we all have come across disputes and arguments on social media, be it debates that took an ugly twist or the airing of grievances. Social media is not the place to settle scores or beefs with others. It has been said that discussing major things via text or online serves to only exasperate the situation. And in those cases, things could be taken out of context and misconstrued, causing further aggravation between the parties. Also, putting your issues to public display may serve as an invitation for others to chime in, thus leading the situation to become out of control. If you have a problem with someone, call them or meet face-to-face and air out your differences.

4) Never leave your profile unattended!!
One major mistake many people commit is leaving their social media profiles unattended in a public venue. Doing so serves as an invitation for others to go on and make posts that may slanderous in nature, all in the name of a good joke. From my personal experience, I have seen it done several times and was even the victim of it myself several years ago. If you need to go somewhere, make it a point to log off your accounts. Never leave it unattended for what may start out to be a "harmless joke" could turn into a major problem.

5) Be tolerant
Not everything we post will be accepted by everyone. Everyone has different views and perceptions of society and the world and what may be acceptable for one person, may not be the case for someone else. If someone feels uncomfortable by what you posted and requests that you delete it, be courteous enough to do so. Vice-versa, if someone else were to post something that you felt uncomfortable about, you would do the same. Mutual respect is important and so is tolerance to others as well.


These are some of the tips for how to play it safe on social media. Social media is an excellent way to express yourselves, get creative, showcase your work, and stay in touch with others. But it is imperative that all of it be done within proper constraints. Social media is a double-edged sword. It can help build bridges but can easily be used to destroy them. Be wise and smart in how you conduct yourself online.

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Top 5 Reasons People Use Motivational Quotes

12/26/2014

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More often than not, we will come across our connections posting up motivational quotes on social media. I for one, have done it myself and see my friends do it as well. But what is the purpose behind posting or sharing these quotes? Here are the Top 5 reasons people use motivational quotes:

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1) "Knowing is not enough. We must apply. Willing is not enough. We must do" 

- Jackie Chan

This quote is a call to action. It generates the intention of doing and applying. It's great to have the knowledge and the will to succeed, but without intent, all of this is practically useless.
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2) "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion"

- Muhammad Ali

This quote plays more of an inspirational/motivational role. We (including myself) often focus on the here and now and gaining as much joy as we can before the times deny us that opportunity. If there is anything that life has taught me, is to push many things to the side and focus on what will make me successful in the future. Plan ahead and work hard now and with time, the fruits of your labor will be borne to you.
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3) " A year from now, you will wish you had started today"

Time is a precious commodity for once it's lost, you can never gain it back. Use whatever time you have and make good use of it. It could be professional education, starting a project, applying for grad school, etc. Do not let it go to waste. Remember, the worst thing in life is to live with regrets.
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4) "Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive about what could go right"


A common mistake often made is the anticipation that something wrong could come out of whatever move one chooses to make. Fact is, not every decision or choice is always going to be perfect. We have to do what we feel is best. Whatever wrong happens, can be used as a learning experience. The focus and emphasis needs to be on the positives of the outcome. 
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5) "Do it now. Sometimes 'later' becomes 'never'"

Procrastination is our worst enemy. Do not wait entitle last minute to do something. Do it now while the motivational and drive is still there. More often than not, if a task or project is not done now, it will never get done. That's the general rule of thumb.
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Tips for a great Holiday Season!

12/13/2014

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The holidays are a hectic time of the year. Everyone is hustling and bustling, whether if is to go gift shopping, prepare for trips, planning family get togethers, decorating the house, the list goes on. In an attempt to make life easy here are some tips for enjoying the holiday season:

1) Plan Your Time
We all live a busy life. The majority of our days is spend working, with little time to relax or even enjoy ourselves. As such, whenever you get a day off, take the time to plan the week ahead. A lot each day or two for the completion of a particular task. For instance, use Monday and Tuesday to go gift shopping for everyone (yes it will be tiring, especially after a long work day, but it will pay off at the end), or a day to wrap presents or to decorate the house.

2) Family
The holiday season is the perfect time for everyone to be grateful for what they have, especially when it comes to family. Remember, not everyone is blessed to have extended relatives or even parents. Take the time to appreciate what you have.

3) Giving
There are many who may not have the means or resources to celebrate the holiday for whatever reason. Take the time to give back to your community. Be it creating toy drives, volunteering at soup kitchens, sending out holiday cards, all of these efforts, regardless if they are done separately or all together, will make a huge difference in the lives of those who may be unfortunate.

4) Enjoy the Holidays
After all the handwork you have put in, it's now time to sit back with your family and enjoy the holidays. Play games, generate a list of fun activities to partake in, have a wonderful holiday dinner, go out and watch the christmas tree lightings. End the year on a great note but start planning for next year. Take the lessons learned from 2014 and implement them for 2015. 

We hope this helped. There are many different ways to enjoy the holidays. Mix, match and personalize to your hearts content. There is no one right way. 
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Dignity for All Students Act

11/27/2014

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"He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions."

Louisa May Alcott
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”

Harvey S. Firestone
"Everyone is an art form. You mold and shape yourself into whatever you desire. No one has the right to change you from what you want to be!"

Tamer M. Mahmoud